As parents, we sometimes think that we do not owe our children anything but a roof over their heads, food on the table, and clothes on their backs. But parenthood is so much more than that. It is spending time with your children, attending their activities, and being there when they need someone to listen and talk to about their emotions and problems. Most importantly, be an active participant in your child’s life no matter what obstacles stand in your way. There cannot be any excuses as to why you cannot SACRIFICE your time to play an intricate role in their lives 24/7.

I want to apologize to my children if they ever felt neglected, abandoned, or unloved at any moment in time. I hope that my past choices with men don’t steer you in the wrong direction of what a loving relationship looks like. Of course, I would only be a fool to think that you didn’t see, hear, or speak of any of the poor choices and decisions I have made while being your parent, but please note that I have already punished myself for thinking I could change the course of my mistakes. I want to take responsibility for my role as your parent. I apologize for choosing partners that were not fitting to be full-time parents. I will take accountability for that part of parenting because I know better. But…. please note that if I didn’t make these mistakes, you would not be here. 

As your mother, what I’m asking of you is to learn from my mistakes and choose a life partner who truly cares for children and their families, even when faced with challenges. Wait until you are certain that the person you love demonstrates that, regardless of the circumstances, they will never shirk their responsibilities as a parent or leave you as the sole provider intentionally. Break the cycle you are used to and create a legacy of blessings for your family by always being there for your children. Be open to making agreed-upon sacrifices for the well-being of your family, such as:

1. missing work because your child is sick or they just want to spend some quality time with you.
2. missing your favorite shows, concerts, happy hour because you have to take your kids to their recitals and games
3. sleepless nights because your child is going through some tough times or it’s your turn to wake up when the baby is crying.
4. choosing to stay home with the kids and watch their favorite movies or play their favorite games
5. giving them your last bite of food because they are hungry and you didn’t go grocery shopping today
6. Not purchasing that car you always wanted because you have to pay for schooling
7. putting on a smile and happy face when you are so tired from working a long week
8. having to get a second or third job to support your children even when you are tired of working
9. putting off your happiness and well-being to make sure your children are overall safe and happy
10. temporarily giving up your dreams or goals for your kids to prosper at any given moment
11. Patience and understanding for everyone involved
12. Putting aside your own personal feelings and working together to raise wonderful children with manners and respect for others.
13. picking up the slack when the other can no longer do for themselves even if it means coparenting
14. compromising your relationships and friendships when your children are in need of you when they experience life lessons of their own
15. being the only parent that may have to raise them alone if the other parent becomes sick or pass away

If you aren’t willing to do any of these things and more, please wait until you are capable of putting someone other than yourself first. Do not expect someone else to come and take the lead for the children you have created. Be in love with parenthood if you decide to become a parent. I will also be okay with your decision to never have kids if that is your choice.

Thank you for being the reason I grew up and became a better person. I may not have done everything right, but I did the best I could under any circumstances that arose. I will always ensure you’re safe, nurtured, protected, and loved. The woman I have become started with my kids. I owe my growth to my children. I love ya’ll.