Too many times victims feel that there is no way out or no one to help. You get into something so dangerous that you fear to get your loved ones involved because you’ve seen on the news how other domestic violence victims’ abuser killed not only them; but their family members and/or friends who were trying to help them. You also have to deal with what people will say and think about you after it is all said and done; therefore you try to handle it yourself. And let’s be honest, when you get to court; you have no one on your side really. The advocate only sees you for the first time during your court date; while the abuser has a lawyer. The prosecutor doesn’t even contact you until the day before to get your information because he is already swamped with other cases. So does he really care? And protective order? We’ve seen how that works out in our favor too.
You see, these very things are why so many victims stay quiet and try to handle it themselves. Their self-worth and self-respect have been taken; therefore why get others involved who claim “they would never let a man beat/hit on them”. Or that person who you know will call you “stupid” or tell you the famous line, “why don’t you just leave”. It isn’t that easy once you get caught up. If only the laws were really on your side.
You see you can be the strongest woman/man in the world and find yourself a victim. You can even think that he/she has a past issue with abuse, but they won’t dare do that bullshit with me because they know better. You may even be a brother/sister, mother/father, aunt/uncle, or best friend to an abuser and condone them; but not agree with it if it was done to your own child, sibling, or parent. It all seems so hypocritical if you ask me.
But you need to realize that whether it is a friend or family member who is abusing someone; wrong is wrong and you need to help their victims before it is too late. You also need to try to get the abuser help for their addictions, anger, and mental health.
Here are just a few videos/articles that can give you a little more understanding of the effects it causes their victims.