It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know when someone is giving you the cold shoulder. Better yet, they are just not that interested in you. Hell, I have been given the “I want to fuck with you when I am ready” moves many of times in my lifetime. You just have to learn how to fall back and move on. I have had some “potentials” that I thought was feeling me, but they had so many other alternatives, that they chose not to settle with me. Hey, did it hurt my feelings, maybe, but I chose to accept the fact that he just wasn’t that interested. I also understood that he may not want to settle down at the moment because of the freedom to do whomever whenever he wants.
I was watching a clip from Derrick Jaxn, and I could relate to his comparison between “ghosting” and “fall backing”. We have the tendency to over think and over assume that just because a dude asks for the number, he wants to date us. No baby, he may have an entirely different motive than you. I remember liking this dude for years and he kept me in the friend zone. Hahaha!!! He would introduce me to all his girlfriends or dates as my “sister” or my “friend” Tonya. The entire time I wanted this dude. Then years later after the friend zone, we fucked!!!! I thought to myself, “about time, maybe he knows!!!”. We continued to have sex on a regular basis. I then asked, “What exactly are we doing?” He told me straight up, “I ain’t ready for a relationship”. Ok, back to the friend zone I went hahaha!!! Did we continue sleeping with each other? Hell yes! But, I eventually got tired of it and fell back.
Nothing is wrong with a man/woman telling you he/she’s not that interested in a relationship with you. It doesn’t mean you aren’t a good catch. It doesn’t mean that something is wrong with you. It just simply means that he/she isn’t ready to date with a purpose or find you that great to settle down. Stop beating a dead horse and just fall back!!! The right person that fits you will come along. If they can’t respond to your calls and texts, fall back. If you have been in some type of relationship that consists of you and only you for years without a commitment, fall back. If his/her actions illustrate lack of interest, fall the hell back!! Stop blowing their phones up. Stop texting them hoping for a response. It’s not going to change the writing on the wall. Stop trying to link up with him/her if they ain’t showing any interest.
Will they continue to hit you up from time to time? Of course!!! That is part of the game when they are bored or their selection has decreased. Sometimes, it may be a test to see if you are still available for a quick hit. Know what it is, and act accordingly. If you ain’t had none in a while, and you want to dip back into that pond, do it!!! But do know that you will have to fall back again. He/She just may go “ghost” again on your ass hahaha!!! Always be prepared for the bullshit that comes with it. Hell, I got a sister-friend that is going thru it right now with a brotha who makes up lies every time he is supposed to be in Richmond or Atlanta hahaha!!! Let’s just say, he ain’t never to be found or heard from when it’s time to link up. It’s either phone broke, dead, plane crash, sick, or car problems hahaha!!! All bullshit… He doesn’t even know that she’s already caught on to his shenanigans. This dude even made up fake addresses and stories just to play the game like he’s interested when he’s just not into her.
Sometimes it is necessary to chill out and let things happen and fall into place. Stop going out of your way putting in all the work to have relationships with people who expect you to be there when they are ready for you. Stop trying to force things to happen and just relax. If things are going to happen between you and someone, then it will naturally. You will know that the person enjoys your company. You will not have to question their intentions because he/she is upfront and open about what it is they want from you. Their actions will speak volumes.
In conclusion, if……
- you ain’t getting a callback, fall back
- he/she keep selling you wolf tickets, fall back
- he/she stands you up on a regular basis, fall back
- he/she always have excuses of why he/she can’t link up, fall back
- he/she can’t go out on regular dates, fall back
- he/she is always unavailable at certain times, fall back
- he/she always making up lies/excuses of why they didn’t/can’t come thru, fall back
- he/she went ghost, definitely fall back
- he/she acts like you are a nuisance, fall back!!!
The faster you make room for the one who is supposed to be in your life; the better. Your heart, mind, and spirit will thank you for it.