Sense of Entitlement

 

We have done our children such an injustice.  Come on, don’t act like you don’t know what I am talking about.  Giving our children any and everything they want. Not disciplining them in the manner they should be disciplined. Allowing them to have their way when they do not deserve it.  You may not want to admit it, but you are guilty of it.  Hell, I have created a monster of a son because I have spoiled him rotten!!! My daughter continuously says to me that I surely did not allow her to get away with things I let him.  And she is right!!! There’s a big age difference between them. I know, that’s no excuse. I feel like such a failure. It’s okay we can all get through this together.

You see, the children of today didn’t happen to become this way by accident.  It all stems from parenting and government regulations.  Because many of us felt that our childhood was too strict or stern, we “lightened up” on our own children.  We didn’t want our children to fall; so we picked them up each time.  We don’t want our children not to have; so we give them whatever they want. We didn’t want to hear our children cry; so we didn’t say, “NO” to them.  Sorry to inform you fellow parents; but we got it all wrong.  These actions create narcissistic and bratty children that will not have any respect or empathy for others at all.  Because they can get whatever they want; whenever they want it creates a sense of entitlement.  They will always feel that they do not have to work for or earn anything because they never had to.  Think about it, when you were younger and you could not get the latest pair of shell-toe Adidas; you worked hard and saved up for it.  When you finally got them, you cherished them and took care of them because it was your hard earn money.  When my parents told me “No”, I went out and got a job to earn what I needed and wanted. Was I upset about it? Yes. Did I die because they didn’t give me what I wanted? No. I learned to respect hard work and ethics.  I also learned that it was up to me to figure it out. It formed critical thinking and common sense.

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Or how about that “F” you earned on a poorly written paper the teacher gave you weeks/months to complete.  Because you failed, you did what was needed to improve in that area in order to succeed.  You took the failure as a lesson and put forth the effort in order to excel.  Your parents did not continuously call teachers and expect there to be a make-up or grade change.  Instead, parents would encourage you to do better and study harder.  Parents also took the extra time to motivate and dictate set guidelines and rules that must be followed when it came to education. There wasn’t any cellphones and computers to hinder you; instead, they drove you to the nearest library and picked you up in order to give you quiet time to study and complete your homework. There weren’t any “do-overs” or “extra-time” to complete your classwork/homework.

Many kids of today do not understand that concept because they have always been saved by parents who won’t allow them to fall or feel the importance of hard work.  Education has been watered down just to “meet” what many feels is our students’ expectation levels.  The grading scales have changed drastically because someone felt that pushing the scale down would “help” our children.  In all actuality, it created a measure of lower expectations for them to push through.  It created a lack of importance and substance. It watered down the entire education system. Some schools are even instructing teachers to give a “50” instead of a zero in order to “pacify” what they actually earned. Why would this be accepted and okay? Why would I like to have a 65 D grade?  Doesn’t that number seem to close to a 50?  Why not set higher expectations and rules that would assist them when they decide to go out into the real world? Higher education, society, or the workforce will not show any mercy on your child. I promise you that.

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And let’s not talk about the lack of respect most children have for adults and authority.  Because of “entitlement” many children feel it is okay to say what they want to or around adults because parents will side with them or even allow them to speak to them in that manner!!! Because they weren’t accustomed to the word, “no”, they feel that they can question adults or authority.  When did this become okay? There should not be any questions concerning why a child disrespect or talks to an adult in a manner that illustrates defiance or disobedience. There definitely should not be a conversation, “well my child wanted to know why” or “why can’t he/she go?” Back in the day, children discussed issues with the parent and allowed it to be between grown folks. If my parents said, “no”, that was the end of the discussion. Why can’t an adult tell your child, “no”?  Why does it seem irrational or disrespectful to tell your child he/she can’t do or say something?

  • Stop taking up for your children when they are wrong
  • Stop calling teachers to change grades that your child earned or asking for extra-credit when your child exhibited laziness or didn’t put forth the effort
  • Allow your child to figure out how to do better when they screw up
  • Tell your child NO and mean it
  • Punish/discipline your child
  • Do not allow your child to EVER disrespect adults and elders PERIOD (even if you feel your child was “disrespected”)
  • Stop giving your children everything they want
  • Stop rewarding them with things when they have not exhibited behavior such as respect, obedience, and compliance.
  • Stop rewarding them with materialistic things when their grades are poor!!
  • Give your child some chores and responsibilities around the house
  • Stop being your child’s friend and be their parent!!! When they become an adult; you will have that honor.

Remember, the world doesn’t revolve around you or your children. If and when they become able-bodied adults the workforce will not care about entitlement.  Your child’s professor will not care if he fell off the bicycle and bumped his head causing him to not complete his work.  Your child’s job will not care that Beyoncé’s show is on the weekend that’s why he/she didn’t come into work. The police will not care if he/she just had a nickel bag of marijuana in his car.  They will reap the consequences of their actions and you will not be able to call and try to negotiate the punishment.  You will not be able to call and chastise the teachers of higher education to make exceptions for your child. You will not be able to call and get your child’s job back for him/her. You will not be able to reduce his/her sentence in court. Why not prepare them for that before it is too late?

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1 Comment

  1. Thank you for saying what over a million of teachers, grandparents, uncles, aunts, businesses and corporate leaders have been saying for over a decade. Our nation has fallen to it lowest in the area of education and parenting. Look at the daily news. A day doesn’t go by that someone is blaming someone else for their child/children disrespect for rules and responsibilities. Today’s parents don’t want to do the work that is involved in being a good parent. They rather give their child/children materialistic things so they don’t have to spend quality time with them. They have no idea what their child/children is doing on the computer or on the cell phone. Today’s children are smarter than their parents and the sad part is they are using all these manipulative tactics to get over in school and in everything that they find is a problem. In my day, the teacher’s word was never questioned by a student. Today, they ask why they got a “zero”, and if the teacher doesn’t give them the answer they want they go home and make up an elaborate story to make the teacher look like the bad fellow and the parent take their child’s side. That is why the good teachers are leaving education and there is a shortage of good teachers.

    Don’t get me wrong, there are some teachers that are willing to give students “A’s” and “B’s” to keep the parents off their back. The students haven’t learned anything and this process continues from grade to grade, year after year. Our system of education is broken and I don’t see it improving any time soon. The state standards of education has been lowered to accommodate minority students. If you think this helps them get into college, let’s look at this scenario:
    Bob is a valuable football player on his high school team. The majority of his teachers don’t require him to do homework or even attend class if he doesn’t feel like it. This year he has a new teacher that is a “real” teacher that values each of her students and wants them to succeed. She respects them and requires respect from them. She doesn’t give grades and provides assignments and daily lesson requirements at the beginning of the semester by giving her students a syllabus. She models and provide her students samples to help them with required projects and reports. This football player felt he could continue the way he had his first three years in high school. He was mistaken. When things didn’t go his way, he decided to tell his mother and she was angry and went to that teacher explaining her son needed this grade for college football.

    Parents priorities are questionable in this day and time. It is one thing to get into college, but will your child/children be able to keep up. Those made-up grades given in high school will not work in college. Today’s businesses are questioning the work ethics and skills of our young people. They feel they are entitled to come and go as they please. Sorry! This is not going to work. Instead of making excuses for your child/children when they are in school, make them responsible. Stop going to the teacher when they are failing and haven’t submitted an assignment, test, quiz. WAKE UP!

    Since our state department has lower the standards for students to pass standardized test, here is a word of caution for all parents and students. If you are placed in an advanced class study and is making “A’s” and “B’s” think of those grades equivalent to a “C”, The grading system has been lower again from the original of (100 – 95 = A); ( 94 -85 = B); (84 – 75 = C); (74 – 66 = D) and ( 65 – below = F).
    This year students are being told they need to score an “80” to be considered passing on mid-terms and bi-weekly test. If you expect a low number from students it doesn’t help them to go beyond. I always tell my students to strive for 100 and nothing less. My college students have always met the mark with me going beyond expectations. A friendly word of advice, push your child/children to do his/her best. Stop making excuses for him/her. It is time for accountability from your child/children.

    Some of my friends have said that this society is setting up various socio-ethnic groups to repeat history with slavery. If today’s parents don’t wake-up and change their ways about education and those “real” teachers, they will not be able to blame anyone else but themselves. There is a strong need for mathematicians, good doctors, nurses, surgeons, specialist, biologist, engineers, good honest politicians, computer genius, etc. Love is not materialistic things.

    Like

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