Most of us have had the opportunity to fall in love a couple of times in our lifetime. The type of love that has you with butterflies and excitement when you see the one you love. The type of love that keeps you up all night because you can’t stop talking to them on the phone. I remember back in the day my high school sweetheart and I would stay on the phone until it was time to wake up to go to school in the morning hahaha!!! He used to walk miles to see me, and I used to sneak him in the house when my parents weren’t home. No one could keep us apart. We were together for 4 years until this thing happen called life; it shattered our dreams.
Don’t get me wrong, we tried on many occasions to get back together; it was never the right time. Therefore, we continued to be friends until we married other people. We still keep in touch from time to time, and I appreciate that level of love I experienced with him. It taught me how innocent love is and how first love will go thru trials and tribulations because of our age and maturity level. It is possible for two people to love at a young age. Especially if its innocent love. I knew his love language; he knew mines!! The problem begins when others intercepted that true love because it was categorized as young love. Parents, family, and sometimes friends will ruin it for you. Or maybe, just maybe, he was just my twin flame. Who knows but we didn’t make it back together like we thought we would. I was thrown back into the ocean to try this thing call love again.
I can say that after my high school love, I didn’t fall in love again until twenty-something years later. Yes, I had relationships between that time, but I wasn’t THAT stupid haha!!! I knew I didn’t love them, but I went hard for what I thought could be changed. I didn’t get butterflies in my stomach. I didn’t feel the connections at all. I just went with the motions. It wasn’t until I ran into my next phase of love that taught me humility. I learned during this stage what I didn’t want in a relationship. I figured out that it was okay to stop settling and choosing a certain type of man because of sex, appearance, and fitting in with the masses. I learned during this time that I shouldn’t be settling for men who couldn’t keep a job, abuse drugs, women, or themselves for that matter. I realized that the men I was attracting were looking for handouts or someone to bring them into stability. It took me two years to get a clearer vision of what love truly is. I also realized that I deserve to be taken care of physically, emotionally, and mentally. I need someone to match my goals and inspirations. This is when I learn to love myself enough to know better.
I guess now is my time to learn and finalize this thing call love. Because “they” say that the third time is a charm. My guy friend told me that it is easy to detect when a man is really feeling you. He said that most men know when that’s the one for him. He stated that most men feel a connection with the woman he’s interested in. He stated that things eventually come to an end for men when they find that right fit for him. “We no longer feels the need to entertain a plethora of women anymore when we have that woman who understands us. That special woman becomes my confidant that I trust with my life. I know she has my back and vice versa. That’s when the peace of mind comes into play with us. We are at ease with each other. We don’t mind being ourselves with each other because it feels right”. He did, however, say that it takes them (men) a little longer to get to that point because of fear of the feeling itself or being comfortable with how things are at the moment. He stated that a man also has to learn to love himself enough to allow this openness of love to enter his heart and mind.
That takes me to this, we all have vices and deal breakers when it comes to love and trust. In order to have true love; you must trust your partner first. In order for you to trust someone; you have to be open to communication without the fear of rejection and abandonment. We get into relationships with the notion that there won’t be any disagreements, but that is far from the truth. There isn’t a set formula for a perfect relationship because each couple’s relationship is based on a mutual understanding that works for them. That’s the key phrase: “What works for THEM!!!” What you may not like or agree with, may not be what other couples roll with. That’s why we can never compare our relationships with other couples. People have different ways of expressing their love for one another. Some will give gifts, cook, spend time with you, or verbally express how they feel about you. It is up to the couples of what level of love language they accept or match with their partner.
When couples get it all figured out between them; the love that is made will be o so electrifying. You will reach not only an orgasm sexually, but mentally and spiritually. It is something that cannot be explained. It is a connection that love brings amongst you and your soul mate. Uncovering all of what love has to offer you can be such a beautiful thing. The sad truth is, so many of us are scared to experience true and undying love. Love isn’t that complicated; we are with all the hidden figures.
Gray Hairs & Late Nights 