My other favorite time of the year is approaching, Fall!!! I love when the temperature is just right, and I can walk around my house in my favorite sundresses. I begin to give away items or donate things I no longer want in my space. I prepare my yard for the upcoming season. It’s a refreshing time for me. Fall is the time of year when I make sure I stay rejuvenated. I begin planting my fall garden, cleaning the house and yard. My cleaning doesn’t stop there. I realize that I have to make some changes to enjoy the few hours of sunlight left before the winter months begin. It isn’t easy purging things. It ain’t all about cleaning out your closets and home either. Sometimes cleaning is necessary when it deals with your peace of mind. It also is the time to purge things or habits that aren’t beneficial to you any longer. We all should find a few things about ourselves that we will make a point to improve on gradually.
Because I stretch myself thin when it deals with supporting everything and everyone, it is hard to meet all the demands. I can’t make everyone’s function, party, or trip. You wouldn’t believe how many times I would try and go out to as many of my friends/work/associates’ functions in one day!!! I burned myself out. I would get minimum rest because I wanted to please others. By the end of the week, my body is tired and worn out. And lord knows I have tried to support people by purchasing their products/services. Sometimes that doesn’t go so well because one person would get mad I didn’t buy from them too!!! Hey, I am not a millionaire, and I will gradually support you sometimes. Just understand that I like to spread love in different directions. I recognized that I am not able to make everyone happy as I want to. That’s life; I have lost associates over it. And that’s okay!!! There isn’t any love lost at all. I just didn’t fit into the criteria.
One thing I noticed about me is the lack of communication on both ends of the spectrum. Sometimes I tried to either protect myself or either someone’s feelings. That isn’t always wise. And most of the time, it wasn’t healthy either. I learned that the hard way. I wish I could sometimes turn back the hands of time and express verbally all the things I felt. But that takes me to another one of my issues that deal with my communication style.
I realized that sometimes I talk too damn much!!!! I don’t know when to shut the hell up!!! I have to improve on getting my point across while giving them time or the opportunity to express themselves. My next communication issue is learning how to communicate without hurting people. I’m not saying don’t be honest or straightforward, but what I am saying is that I can speak in a way that doesn’t intentionally inflict hurt feelings towards anyone. My third communication issue is I had to learn to wait before speaking. I have a habit of talking when it isn’t necessary or during the wrong time. I didn’t have patience when delivering my concerns or opinions. I also needed to keep my thoughts/opinions to a minimum. I realized that some things do not need to be said all the time. I had to learn to pick my battles and speak when necessary, not when I wanted to. By making these changes within my routine, I will become a better friend, communicator, and person for myself.
Lastly,the most vital issue that I need to work on is being too friendly. Yes, you can be too nice and invite the wrong people into your life. Everyone doesn’t have your best interest in mind. You have to be wise to the game that people play. Some people’s life intent is to use people for personal gain. It isn’t up to you to figure out why or what the reason is. It is up to you to dismiss anyone toxic in your life. I gradually attempt to change some of the companies I keep or the people I entertain. Don’t get me wrong; I still make mistakes. I try to turn off my personality sometimes. I realized that my disposition could come off as flirtatious to some when I’m genuinely kind. It took a couple of my friends to let me know that I have to bring it down just a notch. I had to look back at this behavior and accept it. After I sat in it, I realized that I am getting too old to behave in that manner. I had to face the fact. I needed to separate being a kind person from allowing unwanted attention/people around me that aren’t helping me grow.