It’s my favorite time of the year, springtime!!! I love when the temperature rises and I can walk around in my favorite sundresses. This is the time when I begin to pamper myself. I enjoy working in my yard and enjoying the sunlight. It’s a refreshing time for me. This is the time of year when I make sure I stay refreshed and rejuvenated. I begin planting my garden, cleaning the house, and cleaning my yard. I also realized that I have to make some changes within myself in order to enjoy the sunlight. Sometimes it isn’t easy purging things. It ain’t all about cleaning out your closets and house either. Sometimes spring cleaning is necessary when it deals with your peace of mind. It also is the time to purge things or habits that aren’t beneficial to you any longer. We all should find a few things about ourselves that we will make a point to improve on gradually.
Because I stretch myself thin when it deals with supporting everything and everyone, it is hard to meet all the demands. I can’t make everyone’s function, party, or trip. You wouldn’t believe how many times I would try and go out to as many of my friends/work/associates’ functions in one day!!! I literally burned myself out. I would get minimum rest just to please others. By the end of the week, my body is tired and worn out. And lord knows I have tried to support people by purchasing their products/services. That doesn’t go so well sometimes because one person would get mad I didn’t buy from them too!!! Heyyy, I am not a millionaire, and I will gradually support you sometimes. Just understand that I like to spread the love in different directions. I recognized that I am not able to make everyone happy as I want to. That is just a fact of life. I have lost associates over it. And that’s okay!!! There isn’t any love lost at all. I just didn’t fit into the criteria.
One thing I noticed through it all was the lack of communication on both ends of the spectrum. Sometimes I tried to either protect myself or either someone’s feelings. That isn’t always wise. And most of the time it isn’t healthy either. I learned that the hard way. I wish I could sometimes turn back the hands of time and express verbally all the things I felt. But that takes me to another one of my personal issues that deal with my communication style.
One of the many issues that I really need to work on is being “too friendly”. Yes, you can be too friendly and invite the wrong people in your life. Everyone doesn’t have your best interest in mind. You have to be wise to the game that people play. Some people entire life intent is to use people for personal gain. It isn’t up to you to figure out why or what the reason is. It is up to you to dismiss anyone that is toxic in your life. I gradually attempt to change some of the company I keep or the people I entertain. Don’t get me wrong, I still make mistakes but I truly try to turn off my “too friendly” personality sometimes hahaha!!! I realized that my personality could come off as “flirtatious” to some, and I am truly just being kind. It took a couple of my friends to let me know that I have to bring it down just a notch. I had to look back at this behavior and accept it. After I sat in it, I realized that I am getting too old to behave in that manner. I had to face the fact that I needed to separate being a kind person from allowing unwanted attention/people around me that really wasn’t going to help me grow as a person.
Lastly, I realized that sometimes I talk too damn much!!!! I don’t know when to shut the hell up hahaha!!! I have to work on getting my point across to the people that mean something to me and give them time or the opportunity to express themselves. I had to learn how to better communicate without hurting the people I love. I am not saying don’t be honest or straight forward, but what I am saying is that my point can be delivered in a way that doesn’t intentionally inflict hurt feeling towards anyone. I had to learn to wait before speaking. I have a habit of speaking when it isn’t necessary or during the wrong time. I didn’t have patience when delivering my concerns or opinions. I also needed to keep my thoughts/opinions to a minimum. I realized that some things do not need to be said all the time. I had to learn to pick my battles and speak when necessary; not when I wanted to. By making these changes within my routine, I will become a better friend, communicator, and person for myself.