Soul Ties

Most of the time when you hear the words “soul ties”, it is usually connected to sex.  But that isn’t the only way it can occur.  When you actually give yourself to someone physically, emotionally, and mentally; you can create a soul-tie.  When you are vulnerable in your life; you can create unhealthy soul ties.  When you have taken the time to reevaluate yourself and what is necessary for your personal spiritual growth; you have to analyze your past and present relationships.  This is when you can eventually create a healthy soul tie to someone who is deserving of you, and get rid of the unhealthy soul tie that had you bounded.

I can admit that when I gave myself to someone; I had a hard time letting them go mentally and emotionally because I shared a part of me that is so personable and intimate.  I realized that I had to eliminate sex and intimacy from the equation (by the way this is a current decision).  When I was in my last toxic and abusive relationship; I couldn’t figure out why this man had such a hold on me. My heart wanted to believe in this man, but my mind was telling me that I needed to GET OUT!!! The love you make can overshadow the truth of the matter.  You may not be able to distinguish between reality and fantasy when you get caught up in a soul tie.  But I can definitely tell you once you get a soul tie with someone who is detrimental to your health and spirit; you will learn the difference between a good soul tie and a bad one. This will also be the best life lesson you could ever have!! You will also realize how many other soul-ties you actually have that needs to be released before you become connected with who you are meant to be with!!!

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Having a soul tie with someone is supposed to be a permanent tie that creates happiness and peace within you.  It is having a relationship with your “soul mate”.  This tie is created to bring the two of you together as one.  But sometimes you can get caught in a lustful soul-tie that you assumed was “love”.  Here are some warning signs you are in a negative/detrimental soul tie:

  1. You continue to enter into off-again-on-again relationships with someone who has disrespected you, abused you, or played with your emotions on too many occasions.  It doesn’t matter if you’ve had children together or not, been together for 2 or 30 years; that person continues to show you who they are.  When you allow yourself to fall back into their presence by accepting gifts, trips, sex from them, you continue to make the soul-tie stronger. This will, unfortunately, block your true soul mate.  I was guilty of this!!! I knew better, but I wasn’t ready to be alone. I also continued to fall right back into his graces because I was yet again one of his pawns that he could run back too when the others didn’t want to deal with him again.
  2. You begin to accept and behave in a manner that is not positive or healthy for you.  Believe it or not, when you begin a relationship with someone who isn’t good for you, you find yourself taking up for their bad behavior, making excuses for them, or behaving in their manner.  You begin to inherit their “bad” views, beliefs, or opinions of what love is supposed to be.  You feel that there isn’t anyone else out there that will “love” you like this. You will fight for their honor and “love” so much; that you will wait in the mist until they “finally get the lying, cheating, and abuse out of their system” (this will never happen; because you are accepting the behavior).
  3. You worry about who they may be seeing or with other than you.  You become paranoid or looking through their things because you have been down this road before.  You can’t trust them, but you don’t want anyone else to have them either.  You know he/she isn’t for you, but you don’t want to be alone, therefore you continue dealing with the stress of wondering when will be the next time he/she will cheat, lie, steal, or abuse me.
  4. Your support system diminishes. You realize that you have fewer friends, associates, or a small circle of people/family you can actually deal with because you have either exhausted all of your chances with them or they do not want to deal with your mess because they have warned you on too many occasions to move on. They are tired of hearing why you will not leave him/her.  The only ones that may support you are the same ones who are also in the exact same situation you are in; that is a negative soul-tie.  When you find yourself being backed into a corner concerning your relationship; it isn’t a healthy soul-tie.  If your mate tries to always insinuate that most, if not all your “friends” or “family” are jealous or not good for you; that’s when you definitely know you can’t be in a healthy relationship.  Most of the time they want to alienate you from others.
  5. You begin to feel like the relationship is stressful, depressing, or even mentally, physically, financially, and/or emotionally draining.  I know from experience that eventually the sexual connection deteriorates. It no longer feels enjoyable to be with this person because your mind and body isn’t in it like it used to be.  But you can’t shake them.  You have to continue the cycle because again, you don’t want to be alone.  You will even take a chance at being number two, three, or five because you just won’t leave them alone.  You find yourself trying to prove that this relationship is worth it in the long run.  You convince yourself that with time; it will get better (after you’ve wasted years of your life on the same person).

HOW TO BREAK UNHEALTHY SOUL TIES!!!!!

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Trust me when I say that once you take the time to break free from all the unhealthy soul-ties that you have accumulated within your lifetime; you will be at spiritual peace!!! No one wants to hear this but it must be said in order to be FREE AGAIN!!!

  1.  You have to be alone!!!! You have to actually be still and evaluate all the relationships you have been accustomed to and close the book on them for good!!!
  2. You have to leave anyone that was unhealthy or no good for you completely alone!!! You can’t keep jumping in and out of their beds and life.  You have to let it go; no matter how bad you are going to miss “it”.  If you have children with someone who is unhealthy for you; you have to limit your time and conversation to “children only”. The coming over and spending the day/night has to cease.  Stop using the excuse of having children together as a reason to continue this unhealthy relationship. You have to set new boundaries in order to free yourself for good.
  3. You need to be completely honest with yourself about yourself.  This means you have to take a good look at YOU. You need to ask yourself serious questions about what you really expect in your life and future. Do you want to continue dealing with the dead weight? Why do you do it? What benefits are you getting from this? Will this make you happy and at peace? Remember it isn’t their fault if you allow them to continue abusing your trust, emotions, and spiritual growth.
  4. Take ownership in your part and forgive yourself.  Once you sit in your truth; it will become so much easier to move on.  During this phase is when you begin to release some of your past and current soul ties. It may take months to a year before you finally realize what you actually deserve and want as a genuine soul mate.
  5. Get rid of all the gifts, texts, pictures, jewelry, etc. I felt so good getting rid of the Pandora necklace, bracelets, and charms!!!!  I also felt a breath of fresh air when I got rid of all the clothing and other gifts given by my demonic soul tie!!!! I wish you could have witnessed the random young lady’s face when I just walked up to her and gave her the entire Pandora sets!!!  Get rid of any and all things that remind you of the people who didn’t connect to you spiritually.
  6. Stop having sex for a while. No, I am not telling you to never have sex; but I can say that when you take sex out of the equation for a period of time, you know what really matters to you as you get older.  You realize that when you have “sex partners” or sex with the same person who isn’t good for you, you continue building an unhealthy relationship that will go nowhere. You’re just wasting valuable time/years of your life playing games that you really don’t want to play just for a few minutes of pleasure (yes I said minutes, not hours). There are other ways to fulfill your needs until the time is right.
  7. Lastly, stop jumping from one relationship to another!!! When you constantly do this; you do not give yourself a chance to even focus on the big picture. You want to establish a meaningful relationship in the future.  When you rest in the relationship area; you can analyze what it is you want in a potential mate.  You won’t be swayed into another wasteful relationship.

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