The Dating Game

Now you know I have already let you all in on my past dating issues and bad choices.  And I promised you all that I was going to speak about my take on the dating scene. I also stated that I know what I want in a man when I am ready to start dating again. So here it goes!!!

THE DATING SCENE

The dating scene in this day in time has evolved into something that’s much to be undesired.  With social media and online dating apps; it’s hard to get a serious potential mate. I even considered joining EHarmony because he said he can guarantee a match for a “small fee” (yeah right).  In this era, it is hard to get someone to even ask you on a date without insisting going “dutch” or leaving you to pay the tab.  Many are all about finding them a sex partner instead of a marriage partner. Get the hell out of here with that mess!!! WE ARE TOO BIG!! And let us not forget the process of actually getting to know someone.  That takes longer than six months!!! Trust me.

Whatever happened to the old fashion way of dating? When the guy asks you out, pick you up around 7 pm, and take you to his place of choice? What happened to meet up for coffee/tea and have a meaningful conversation that gets you to know someone intellectually? Or better yet being creative after a couple of dates and creating a picnic? I mean what is so hard to figure out?  Now I know the men are going to say, “Women don’t appreciate/like that in a man” or “What’s wrong with going dutch?”.  THAT IS JUST IT!!! MATURE WOMEN DO APPRECIATE THAT IN A MAN!!! and hell naw I ain’t going dutch unless I ask YOU out!! hahaha!!! That is the keyword!!  If she isn’t appreciative of those gestures; then maybe she isn’t for you, mature enough yet to understand the importance of a man treating a woman as the queen she is, or you’re just not her type.  Other words, she may want the guy that goes dutch on dates and makes her pump her own gas.  Or she doesn’t mind that her man doesn’t take her out or plan things for her. BUT I DO EXPECT THAT!!! 

You see I don’t want to hear the bull about times changed and women are equal now.  No, we are not and the expectation of treating a woman as such has NOT changed.  A woman should not have to support or take care of a man!!! (Now some exclusions apply such as sudden illness, handicap, or disability).  But other than that, NO WAY!!! I should not be expected to pay for a date unless I want to take you out for your birthday, etc. KEYWORD…. I take you out!!! See I did all of that through my “fixing” stage and that is not what I was supposed to be doing.  I should not and will not come out of my pocket when you date me now.  If you leave your wallet; expect me to walk to the “bathroom” and never return. I don’t even expect the pricy dinners so your finances are safe with me.   All I ask for is a little chivalry.

WHAT I EXPECT

• Please be prepared to be researched.  Yes, honey bunny I am going to get some background information concerning you, your family, and your pass.  I cannot have any more “Fatal Attraction” or “Investigation Discovery” episodes!!!! And I definitely don’t mind you doing the same!!! We are at the age where time is of the essence. I don’t have time to play games.  Find out about me, while I find out about you!!
• I expect open and honest communication.  There is no need to lie or make up stories because the keyword of today is MATURITY.  If you can’t handle being a communicator and transparent; don’t bother me.  I need to make sure you are worth my time.  I need to also figure out your character. You see when you date, the expectation is to see what each other have in common other than sex appeal and attraction.  That isn’t going to cut it. If we aren’t on the same level of communication; then I cannot go any further.  One thing I cannot stand is a texter!!! Damn, call me or sit with me and have a real conversation.  My fingers and hands are already on the verge of carpal tunnel syndrome; I don’t need any extra stress on these small hands.
• You must be true to your word!!! That speaks volume.  Just as you would want me to be towards you; you must do the same in return.  It’s all about respecting each other’s boundaries and words.  I have to see if you are someone I can grow with in the future.  Yes, I said it!!! Grow in the future.  I AM NOT DATING JUST FOR FUN!!!! I am too old to be playing house and girlfriend for 10 and 20 years!!! I am not doing it!! This all ties into having a spiritual connection with someone. The energy and vibes must be aligned.

That leaves me with this last shocker….. I expect an old fashion man because I am an old fashion woman.  We have to hold each other accountable for how we want to be treated. I know you’re saying, please how are you old fashion?  I am a nurturer by nature. I love to take care of others, my home, and my man.  Heck, you can even be a farmer, hunter, and a fisher.  I know we are going to eat if the apocalypse occurs. So I expect my man to have my grass cut, car washed, trash emptied, and gas pumped!!! I expect him to lift heavy things. Just because I am a strong woman, don’t ask me to lift shit!! That’s a man’s duty when he’s around. No, I shouldn’t help you move heavy objects!!  You definitely should get your male friends to do that!! I can definitely carry the toilet paper haha!! The little things matter to me.  I even like when the door is opened for me!!! Yes, I think I am Queen Sheba!!! So I expect to be treated as such.